


Truths Carved to the Bone

by nonky



Series: The Truth Series [1]
Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 23:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9791033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonky/pseuds/nonky
Summary: They'd just gotten back something of the closeness they'd shared. She was terrified for him, worried any action that seemed right was another landmine set by Shepherd to keep him on the path that put Kurt Weller in her hands. Jane would save him. She just had no idea how.Spoilers for 2x14





	

They were, as usual, the most composed and silent people in the hospital waiting room. Jane was a little amused she hadn't had to be Rich's date this time, and her only suitable replacement was the tall man sitting by her side with a lukewarm coffee.

Rich would be fine, and they both knew gunshots enough not to be worried. One of the nurses might smother him with a pillow, but that was just a side effect of his personality. 

"I heard you slow danced," she said. "Is he a better dancer than I am?"

In a very dry tone, Kurt said, "It would be rude to compare, Jane. Neither one of you let me lead without a little wrestle for it first."

"Agent Weller, the patient is out of surgery, and the doctor will update you," a nurse called over. 

"This shouldn't take long," he said to Jane. "It was a clean shot, and the ambulance arrived quickly."

He walked over and met the doctor with a quick, firm handshake. The conversation was hushed but the doctor was matter-of-fact and calm. Jane watched them for something to do, trying to phrase the bad news she had once they knew Rich was okay.

Kurt Weller hadn't had a patient father. Jane had known it by looking, once she knew herself enough to see it clearly. 

His tolerance and quiet paternal energy came from the frustrated urge to care for Taylor Shaw and his sister. He had been ten years old, and had felt Taylor's death like the loss of a child. At the intersection of his teenage need to assert himself, he'd been watching his father through a veil of suspicion. He'd been trying to guard Sarah, and help Emma Shaw survive her daughter's loss. 

Kurt had been divided by love so young, a ragged tearing he'd done himself to escape his father's denials. He'd been a caring brother, a surrogate son, and he'd been the raging spirit of justice aimed at his own father. Jane had known rage, but she was certain she hadn't known Kurt's rage. It had built up and flashed back on him, giving the opening to send him to a military academy. There he'd been far away from Sarah, and he'd been scouted by Shepherd. 

Jane didn't want to be the first to link the two events, and she was sure Kurt had seen it for himself. Shepherd had been gathering a small army of people with skills who'd been traumatized by injustice in places close to home. He'd been part of the news coverage of Taylor's disappearance, a somewhat public figure in his little town at ten years old. Anyone could read newspaper archives. The one photo in the clippings was a wrenching shot of him standing on the lawn, stiffly upholding his belief that the Clearfield police department needed to listen to him. 

It must have been so tiring to hurt that much and have no recourse, Jane thought. She knew he had told the police to investigate his father and he hadn't stopped asking until she had shown up with a fixed cover story. Giving him Taylor back had allowed him to forgive his father like a miraculous closure. They had made peace, and his life story had changed from one of blame and impotent rage to redemption. 

Remi had to have known what she was exploiting. Shepherd definitely understood Kurt's character well enough to comprehend his extraordinary focus on helping people now came from a perceived failure then. 

Jane being Taylor and then being exposed had ripped away any comfort and removed the certainty Kurt clung to in his hardship. He'd known something was wrong with his father's story but been so glad to be wrong. The doubt it caused for his instincts about people was a worthy sacrifice for Taylor. 

His father's deathbed confession had taken Taylor again, given back a grave and a woman who'd lied so egregiously she couldn't be blameless. Kurt could have done much worse than arrest her when he found out, and Jane didn't have it in her to blame him. 

They'd fallen together, in love and then out and into their separate hells. 

They were climbing up again, gradually accepting their obstacle was the same mountain of Shepherd's interference in every part of their lives. They could smile and care about one another. They could admit there was something more to it than mutual support and teamwork. He could be gracious enough to shelter her brother, another accomplice to her crimes. Kurt Weller could forgive like a saint, able to see how Remi and Roman had been groomed from childhood to obey orders.

Their mother had trained them to accept the necessity to act in the wrong sometimes, seeing right but stepping neatly around it to put bullets in the people in their way. Kurt's father had taught him right by inspiring him to do the opposite of all Bill Weller's mistakes.

Jane could look at him and see all the hallmarks of duty twisted into deformed conscience. He could recognize the need for a second chance for everyone but himself. Kurt had an obsession with taking responsibility for his actions. He wouldn't strike out at Roman for killing Emma Shaw, and the purpose for it was reasonably easy to see without being a useful lead to other parts of Sandstorm. Emma would know her own daughter, and could have discredited Jane's cover. 

It was possible Shepherd had found Kurt even younger than ten. It wasn't even beyond her to have orchestrated Taylor's disappearance to make a leash that grew with Kurt until he took for granted the occasional yank back into the path to being useful to her long-term mission. Jane didn't think even Shepherd could have organized Bill's drunk suicide attempt and known he would kill a child to hide his weakness.

Jane had intended to tell Weller as soon as she could, using the hospital as neutral territory so he wouldn't be anywhere near Roman while the news was fresh. She trusted Kurt not to hurt her brother, but this was a point at which both men could break. She couldn't stand to choose between them. There was only one stand to take; unified against Shepherd. 

In Sandstorm, killing was a rite of passage. No one was given the option of drawing that line. Shepherd had raised Remi and Roman instead of recruiting them, but she hadn't offered any partiality. She didn't want innocent children as much as she'd wanted trained and loyal seconds to carry out her plans. 

Solving the tattoos was a parallel path to going to war against the government. It might take longer to root corruption through legal means, but it meant more. It had to mean more, because it was Jane's life now. It was the only life she could have with Weller involved. 

He would look past Roman's murdering Emma, right at Shepherd coordinating events in the background. The strain of not wanting to blame her brother would use up all his forgiveness. Kurt would swallow the moral poison of his previous tragedy and add things up to perfectly point to his own guilt - like he'd killed Taylor and Emma by caring for them. 

Jane was too shaken herself to give comfort that would make a dent. She had rushed to tell him, and now she knew she couldn't find words. She needed time to think, to imagine the concussive force that would hit him with the news. She needed to be able to restore him and preserve the good and compassionate man who'd risen from his youthful anger. 

They'd just gotten back something of the closeness they'd shared. She was terrified for him, worried any action that seemed right was another landmine set by Shepherd to keep him on the path that put Kurt Weller in her hands. 

Jane would save him. She just had no idea how. 

She put a smile on her face and visited with Rich, then let Kurt assume her preoccupation was with her date with Oliver. She fell back on the act of normality, hating how much it reminded her of trying to fool him when she'd been fooled by Oscar. 

Jane got as far as the elevator before she lost her nerve and turned to him with wide eyes. "I didn't come here to see Rich," she said, pulling the emergency stop.

Weller smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I figured you were checking up on me. I'm sure it was all much more dramatic in the telling. You know me, I'm fine."

He actually reached for her, to comfort her, and Jane knew she couldn't let him be good to her in that moment. 

She shook her head. "You can't possibly be, and I have to make it worse. But I can't let you find out from somewhere else, someone else. Roman remembered following you to a restaurant, seeing you meeting with an older woman with dark hair. You left the restaurant, hugged, and Roman followed her car to ram it. I think it was Emma Shaw. I want there to be any other explanation, but I - Kurt? I'm so sorry."

He closed his eyes and backed into the corner, shutting her out. Jane bowed her head and wished she knew a prayer that would do something, letting the elevator alarm scream for both of them.


End file.
